(Not) Just a Girl
Director Michelle Nessk is out for blood in the brand-new horror anthology “Shevenge”
Staci Layne Wilson’s Shevenge is a brand-new horror anthology of short films, all based around revenge and all directed by women. It’s quite the solid collection, with everything from low-key creeping dread to no-holds-barred violence, from dark comedy to intense drama, and even a bit of avant-garde work.
The latter certainly applies to filmmaker Michelle Nessk’s contribution, “Just a Girl” — a short black-and-white piece that manages to cut deeper than any blade ever could through its affecting storytelling and visual presentation. It’s a highly personal piece for Michelle and I wanted to know more about its creation.
I recently sat down with Michelle to chat about “Just a Girl”, Shevenge, and the rape-revenge genre as a whole — and our conversation was absolutely delightful.
Peter L.: There’s a long tradition of rape-revenge films being seen as lurid and exploitative. How do you feel your own work as part of this anthology stands out from that tradition?
Michelle Nessk: I’ve always been drawn to revenge horror. Creating and consuming performance art is escapism, and I think that I come across many women whose favorite sub-genre is revenge horror too. Because the reality of a woman’s existence is completely and totally submerged in rape culture even in adolescence; “it” could happen at any time. So I think we need that outlet. We need to be able to cheer on these characters that ultimately represent our most vulnerable moments, and instead of the grueling process of the courts with a minimum percentage of a positive outcome, rather than additional PTSD, we get to watch these characters go Wild West on those f*ckers. And I think that’s special.
My film, Just a Girl, is really about all of our voices, how we are all seemingly telling the same stories, and nothing changes, and how to an apathetic ear, all of us combined turn into noise due to inconvenience. I think my film is potentially different because it’s more of a call to action. There’s so many of us who are survivors; I think our numbers are large enough to put our collective foot down and make a difference. In my lifetime I would like to see a world where survivors are no longer dismissed. A good example is Epstein. People say that because he died that all of his secrets went with him. But the survivors are still here. Alive. It’s too bad that society doesn’t take that into consideration. Because they have the truth. Survivors can tell you what they experienced.
Peter: How do you feel depictions of women’s revenge in film have shifted over time?
Michelle: Depending upon whose gaze we are experiencing the story through, I’d say today’s revenge horror is more empowered in many ways. The survivor gets autonomy. Prior films in the past it was avenging boyfriends, husbands, brothers, or parents, with the occasional notable breakouts being a violent woman or girl. I appreciate that evolution very much. A movie that’s really worth watching that flips the entire genre on its head, and explores the vulnerability of men, is Vulgar. It’s a disturbing but brilliant film, but it explores the concept of patriarchal toxic masculinity preying upon men as well.
Peter: If you could give a piece of advice to a young woman looking to get into filmmaking, what would it be?
Michelle: Make your movies. You are probably an interesting individual with innovative ideas, and even if your audience is five people, that is five lives that you have touched with your art. And if you decide to go professional, understand there is a lot of compromise required regarding your vision. Because on a professional level it’s all a collaboration, and there are people to answer to beyond your muse.
As far as safety tips? I don’t know, I’m not trying to fear-monger. Just make sure people know where you are. Do safety checks when you are filming away from home. Keep receipts of any questionable exchanges. And live your life.
Peter: You’ve said more than once that your short, “Just a Girl”, is an extremely personal work. How difficult was the production process, and how cathartic was completing it?
Michelle: All of the imagery featured is from different visual projects that I created starting in 2010 to 2018. I had been collecting it with the intent to essentially tell the very same story that I did end up with. I was already a survivor. But it happened again in 2015. Different but the same. I really hated myself for not reacting how I hoped I would. For not being stronger. For not calling the cops. For eating the thousands of dollars it has cost me to fix my canine that was shattered from the assault. There are elements to it that I’m still not really “there” yet to discuss publicly. I want to be, and that’s why I made this film. The message is ultimately that the me-too movement didn’t mean we were going to see justice, nor were we counting on it. It just meant we were all tired of being quiet to the point of universally speaking the same truth. With that in mind I felt emboldened and I created it for Louder Than Wolves, a charity event in Sacramento, California. A variety of artists joined together to tell their stories, and raise awareness and money for the incredible My Sister’s House, which is a charity that helps survivors of domestic violence. My goal in life is to make sure that I can help even one person to never feel as helpless as I have. And I’m really grateful to Staci for featuring my film in her amazing anthology amidst such astoundingly talented artists, and that we all get to be part of contributing to the Time’s Up movement. Everyone involved has my utmost admiration.
As far as catharsis in finishing this project? I don’t think I’m there yet either. Like right now I’m wondering if those men (who know who they are) are reading this right now. I wonder if they have fully comprehended what they have done. I wonder if they have watched my film with their Bros. I wonder if they have hurt anyone else since. And I wonder if they know that there’s a piece of them in every single one of my stories. And that every time I make that piece bleed, it’s easier to forget their faces. Which probably means I’m a terrible person, but I’m pretty okay with that being a personal flaw.
Peter: The sound design and writing of “Just a Girl” are major pieces of what helps it stand out. What was your inspiration for bringing so many voices together to soundtrack your piece?
Michelle: I wrote the poem in 5 minutes. Sometimes it’s just easier to communicate via spoken word. I get drowned in sound design, and I’m very proud that I was able to create the composition that was in my head so clearly. It’s been a journey to get there.
The different voices are all mine. The first actress I brought on to do one of the voices started crying as she was reading my spoken word piece aloud. Because it’s real. It’s not a fictional story that just so happens to be f*cked up. Because with that there’s a disconnect. So It was very triggering for her. And I felt terrible so I didn’t want to do that to anyone again. As a result I took it upon myself to just do all of the voices. It was lonely. Creating it was scary. Finishing it was liberating.
Peter: Finally, are there any projects you’re working on for the near future that you can talk about?
Michelle: Horrors of the PNW VII comes out in 2020. Which is my seventh full future anthology that I have personally created. I’m really proud of that. 7 years of presenting the series at Crypticon Seattle and it has drawn a very loyal and intimate audience nationally as well as internationally. There’s really a lot going on that I am so excited about, and at a certain point listing everything starts to feel like I’m bragging, which always makes me a bit nervous.
Thanks to Michelle for talking to me! “Just a Girl” and Shevenge are currently available to watch on Amazon Prime, and I highly recommend you check them out.
